Panic attack

Stop stop stop stop stop

I bleed ink instead of blood because haven’t you hurt me enough? This might be the closest I got to cutting but a voice keep telling me ‘hindi pwede… you can’t’

It’s killing me. I haven’t had a panic attack in years. I now had 2 in less than 12 hours.

Teach my heart not care. I will welcome the numbness. Teach me not to care. Not to check on his activity. Teach me to ignore eveything and instead focus on the kids. Teach me to forgive and accept everything. Teach me not to pick at the scars of my heart. 
I am so tired of being strong. Teach my stupid heart not to hope it’ll work out because hello, abuse. Help me make the right decision. For me. For my kids. 


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