Breaking it down

I need to accept things. This is something I have to work out. 

What am I scared of?

  • The uncertainty of the future. That debilitating pressure from earning enough for the kids and being better overall. I’m scared that I might not meet the expectations i poae on myself and I end up alone in the long run. I am just so tired of being lonely.
  • That he finds someone who is more. This is something that I really need to get pit of my system. The constant jealousy over someone fictional. He programmed me. I believed he was the one. I need to reset my heart and my brain. I will always be the second option. It’s so hard to accept that but I have to. I need to remind myself of this everyday.
  •  I need to be more confident. I am scared of living. I hid behind someone else for so damn long. How do you live? I’ve forgotten i think.
  • Everything. Well that’s definitely not good huh.
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